How to be a real woman

The question that must be answered

We know what a man needs to be.

Here’s what you should do as a woman!

  • Know how to bake
  • Know how to microwave chicken nuggets
  • Have a basic understanding of Hockey, UFC, Elder Scrolls, Dragon Ball Z, and Warhammer
  • Sumo lift at least 125 pounds
  • Dress modestly in an aesthetic way
  • Know how to make Mexican, Italian, and Japanese foods
  • Believe in astrology & crystals
  • Enjoy Pokémon & Digimon
  • Want to have at least 4 kids
  • A healthy amount of suspicion when the English are around
  • Speak Spanish or Italian
  • Don’t vape
  • Have a glass of wine with each meal
  • A healthy amount of disdain for New York City
  • Know how to repair holes in clothing
  • Be religious (Pagan, Muslim, Catholic)
  • Don’t listen to Cardi B, Megan, and City Girls
  • Be anti-Chicago Pizza
  • Be anti-Pineapple Pizza
  • Pro-New York Pizza
  • Pro-Detroit Pizza
  • Own a cat
  • Eat raspberries and strawberries
  • Menacingly observe the neighborhood
  • Sit next to him when he plays his games
  • Be mean to journalists, and political campaigners
  • Massage his feet
  • Mourn the collapse of the Roman Empire
  • Mourn the collapse of the Sassanid Empire
  • Mourn the collapse of the Aztec Empire
  • Enjoy Sailor Moon
  • Enjoy serial killer documentaries

Hopefully this helps you on your path to real womanhood.

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